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Tag Archive ‘Chemical Imbalance’

Feb 28 2008

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WillThink4Wine

Weary, we are

The Bipolar Express just ran through town again. You know how it feels when you’re standing on the train platform and an express train whooshes past the platform?

j0403633.jpgMy bipolar niece is like that. She sucks the air right out of the room. She sent an email during the night denouncing the Aunts as relatives, accusing us once more of being biased and uninformed self-proclaimed experts who know nothing about anything. She is angry and offended. Again.

She still refuses to consider going back on her meds, ever defiant.

Her mother, me and the other SisterDears are weary of the fight. So we catch our breath and gather strength from one another while we wait, for the next time.

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Jan 07 2008

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WillThink4Wine

God doesn’t live under the bed

I got an email forward that got me thinking about my brother. He is one of the kindest, sweetest people I know. Watch our home movies and you will always see one kid with the brightest, widest smile you’ll ever hope to see. That kid will be my sweet brother! He always has the most innocent, serene expression. That is exactly the image my mind always conjures up when I think of him.

He was diagnosed with a chemical imbalance when he was about 20 years old. I have never been clear on his actual diagnosis, so for now I’ll leave it at that. However, without his meds, his behavior has had at least one schizophrenic symptom: he has in the past occasionally heard voices that will encourage him to do things, such as move a picture from the wall into the attic.

He is incapable of telling a lie. Seriously, he’s incapable. To prove my assertion I once asked him to say his name was John. He smiled and said “But my name is ..”. I know dear, but just for fun, say it’s John, just this once. “But it’s not, it’s ..”.

This one observation, recognizing this one ‘flaw in his character’, I believe is key to understanding him as a person. He is so honest because it is inconceivable to him that there is ever a reason to lie, or that anybody might ever lie to him. It is also why he so often gets deeply hurt and let down by all the many ‘normal’ people that cross his path during any given day. He is naive. He is gullible. He will believe anything and everything you tell him. Why shouldn’t he? People wouldn’t lie.

My brother is a Christian, a husband and a father. He is happy, loving, courteous, thoughtful, helpful, frugal, responsible, dependable and hardworking. He is our Dad’s best friend. He lives to be the best Dad in the universe for his daughter.

God doesn’t live under the bed. He lives in my dear brother’s heart.

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