WillThink4Wine

Now, before you read this I want to assure you that this is not my opinion of ALL teachers. I happen to have 2 teachers in my immediate family who absolutely love teaching and both of them are brilliant and gifted educators! I also have friends who are College Professors and even a fellow Wine Taster who happens to be Dean of Students at a wonderful university. As a general rule I have the deepest respect and the highest regard for teachers, cops, firefighters and our military. In my opinion, they are all undervalued, and I don’t mean just monetarily. However, as is true with any profession or field, there are exceptions to the general rule. No matter where you go, you will always find “them”. So don’t get crazy on me!!

A few years ago I was looking for a full time employee. I needed someone to do shipping and receiving as well as my ink mixing. For the benefit of those of you who’ve never worked in the Graphic Arts or Printing Industry, this basically means opening the book to the specific formula and figuring what percentages of each of the 2, 3 or 4 colors of ink are needed for a pound of that particular ink color. Yeah, this is not Rocket Science.

One of my customers asked me to consider an acquaintance of his for the position. After interviewing him, and despite his teaching degree and 20 years of experience teaching 4th grade in the Fort Lauderdale Public School System, I hired him. He was overqualified, but he needed a job and I needed someone I could depend on.

During his first week I assigned him a task I am confident could adequately be completed by an average 10 year old. I know this to be true because my own niece had done it several times. After giving him the 10 minute instructions and having him observe me mixing while reviewing over a few days, I asked him to mix a pound of ink on his own.

Think “Deer in the head lights”.

Much to my astonishment, this man, this teacher of our precious youth, had no idea how to calculate percentages! It’s not as though there wasn’t a calculator just to the right of him. Needless to say we never progressed to multiplying for 2 or more pounds or (Heaven Forbid!) fractions. Oh, I am totally serious.

As a footnote, I will mention that I ignored my better judgment when I overlooked the errors he made filling out the application. In hindsight, I discovered he also wasn’t skilled in reading or writing either.

Note to self: First Impressions and Gut Instincts are never again to be disregarded.

How long did he remain in my employ, you ask? He quit after 2 weeks. Apparently, I have unreasonable expectations.

Next!

And now, in the tradition of one of my favorite bloggers, a joke. Empress Bee said I could borrow has no idea I’m using this, but it is so true that I had to post it, along with the above story from my own personal experience.

Thanks, Miss Bee! You’re a real Georgia Peach!

1. Teaching Math in Florida in the 1950s:
A guy sells a truckload of alligator hides for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

2. Teaching Math in Florida 1960s:
A guy sells a truckload of alligator hides for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math in Florida 1970s:
A guy sells a truckload of alligator hides for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Math in Florida 1980s:
A guy sells a truckload of alligator hides for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math in Florida 1990s:
A guy goes into a beautiful swamp to get alligators and messes it all up because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the fish and other alligators and birds feel as the guy messes up their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it’s ok.)

6. Teaching Math in Florida 2008:
Un individuo vende un camión del cocodrilo oculta para $100. Su coste era $80. ¿Cuánto él hace?

Tags: Thought for the Day

Did I ever tell you about the time my BIL nearly killed MotherDear? BIL was traveling on business and was only a few hours from the Deep South so he decided to surprise us for a short visit. He rented a car and drove to the Yellow House, armed with wine and beer. Oh yes, he is and will always be my favoroite BIL!

Dad was taking his afternoon nap. The doorbell rang. MotherDear looked through the peephole, but it was covered. So she meekly asked..

Who’s there?

Candy Gram.

Excuse me, but Who is there, please?

Candy Gram.

MotherDear quickly turned the dead bolt on the door and ran down the hall like a Thundering Herd of Elephants, terror mounting all the way. (Yes, she is still quite spry!)

She shook Dad awake saying “Someone’s at the door and he won’t tell me who he is. He just keeps saying ‘Candy Gram’ and he’s covered up the peephole”.

Dad got up, walked down the hall and looked through the peephole. Because BIL had tipped his head down, all Dad could see was BIL’s hat. Dad opened the door. 

BIL was now in stitches, and no doubt, feeling quite pleased with himself.

Even after several seconds of staring at BIL, Dad & MotherDear were in total shock and couldn’t register who this Land Shark was.

Needless to say, we won’t be doing that anymore. I explained to BIL that while Land Shark is quite amusing, Dad is now 79 years old and MotherDear is 73, and somehow they didn’t appreciate the humor in it quite as much as he did. It may be a good idea to call ahead next time.

And bring more wine!

Tags: Aging Gracefully, Family, Just for laughs

Because sometimes I really need one of these. I hope his head doesn’t explode.