WillThink4Wine

I’ll miss the good ole days…. Winthrop…….Cottage Park Rd, eating red ants & always in trouble…you were like the older brother I never had…..surely you will be missed…..Cousin Robert

That was an excerpt from one of the entries in The Guestbook at my brother John’s Funeral. There were many heartfelt condolences, and many that made me cry. However, this one stood out for me. I was quite curious to know why 2 young boys would not only eat red ants, but also have fond memories of the experience. So, I called my cousin to ask him about this.

Must. Have. Input.

Robert told me that he, being all of a year younger than John, couldn’t stand up to the pressure John put on him. First John tried to make it sound cool! Ah! A classic approach! When that didn’t work he teased Robert, saying he was a baby, or chicken or words to that effect. In the end Robert totally caved and ate the red ants. Still, he remembers it fondly as part of his childhood memories. Boys are so strange.

So, 40 years later, I’m wondering… who I should feel more sorry for?

• My brother John, the consummate bully
• My cousin Robert, the picked on younger kid forced to eat red ants
• The red ants, snack food

In the end, I think it would have to be the party who ultimately gave it their all… the red ants, of course!

Who would you pick?

Oh, and Robert and The Donald? They’re justlikethis.

Today is my brother John’s funeral. The Service should be over in just a few minutes, actually. I did not attend, partly because our parents live with me here in Georgia and the services are in New England. They are just not up to the trip, emotionally or physically. It is too much for them to fathom, too much to face. Truth be told, I have never been one to attend funerals. If they were held months or even seasons past the pain and emotion, perhaps. But not so soon.

This is the last Family Portrait where all of eight children and our parents were all together. It was taken at SisterDear3’s wedding, so I’m estimating it was 22 years ago or so. We were planning a new one for this summer.

MotherDear asked me to sign John’s Online Guestbook on behalf of our youngest brother who cannot attend. I searched for a poem I thought would suit them both. As I reread it, it makes me sweetly sad. I think they would both approve.

Remember

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann’d:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

Love, Billy

By Christina Rossetti with thanks to The Poetry Foundation

Tags: Family, Gatherings, Thought for the Day

My regular readers (all 3 of you) already know that I have 3 wonderful sisters. You may not recall that I also have 4 brothers. Three of the brothers have been estranged from the family due to heavy drinking and lifestyle choices that caused them to walk a path that we could not follow.

The oldest brother, who is 4 years my junior, had a heart attack a few years ago. At that time, his doctor told him that if he continued to drink he would surely die. Yesterday, sometime between 10:00AM and 1:00PM, he went into cardiac arrest. The doctor told MotherDear that there was nothing they could do for him and that it wouldn’t be long… With his 2 sons and 2 daughters with him, my parents oldest son died at 2:15 this morning. He would have been 49 in July.

My SisterDears and I are all experiencing the same surreal feeling, like the other shoe has dropped. We aren’t feeling anything in the way of grief that one might expect with the death of a brother, at least not as the adult he had become. It’s very odd, to say the least. I do feel incredible sadness for Dad & MotherDear.  It was devastating news for them, despite all the heartache my brother had put them through over the years. They certainly have no reason to have regrets; they did far more than any reasonable person could expect of parents. They never gave up hope for him. Sad to say this, but I gave that up about 20 years ago.

I also feel sad for my brother’s 4 children and 2 grandchildren. I don’t know them as well as I might have liked because of the lack of relationship with my brother. They haven’t exactly had idyllic childhoods. They had to grow up without ever knowing how wonderful it would be to have a good role model for a father. The boys have a really good mother, thankfully. His daughters, from another union weren’t as lucky and have grown up in foster care for the last 10 years. I can’t imagine what the future holds for them, but I sure hope it’s much better than their past.

I will remember John as he was when he was a young boy full of promise. Poor kid. He had 3 older sisters and then another sister after he was born. We had him surrounded. He finally got his wish to have brothers and then he spent the rest of his life teasing them. He also seemed to take particular delight in tormenting the youngest SisterDear. Right, Miss Piggy?

Maybe he is at peace now.

Tags: Brothers, Family

Dad’s mowing his newly planted grass.

Some areas are coming up much better than others. For instance this area at the back fence… not so good! Dad ran out of seeds.

This area gets “2 Paws Up” from Grayson!

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Tags: Aging Gracefully, Cats, Dad, Family, Grayson, Weekend Snapshot

It was a lovely Christmas morning. Me, my SisterDears and brothers were joyfully opening our gifts. Later in the day we were having a large family gathering, my favorite kind of Christmas! Nana Gert, Auntie Jeanne and her family were coming to have Christmas dinner with us. I had crocheted a peach-colored scarf and hat for Nana and I couldn’t wait for her to open  it!! It was going to be a most wonderful Christmas Day!

I had just opened a gift. It was a brand new 45 that I’d been wanting so badly, Precious and Few by Climax.

The phone rang and MotherDear answered. I heard the most mournful sound come from her mouth. Nana Gert had died during the night at Auntie Jeanne’s. She had fallen asleep in the rocking chair, knitting a last minute gift for somebody. The doctor said she had likely fallen asleep and had a stroke during the night. She never knew anything.

The rest of that day is just a blur, the only other thing I remember from that day is that I went downstairs to the basement and spent the entire day and long into the night crying my heart out. I played that 45 over and over and over again. I literally wore it out, remembering my Nana and missing her so badly it was physically painful.

It was the first time in my life that I realized that I had to treasure each moment with somebody who I love. From that moment, I am always mindful that it might be my last opportunity to share time with them. Because none of ever knows when the last moment in time may come.

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Visit here if you’d like to do your own Message in a Bottle, you do not have to be tagged. I chose to combine mine with a post because Nana Gert was my inspiration for my Message.

Tags: Family, Gatherings, Holidays, Music, Nana Gert, Simple Pleasures, Thought for the Day

Did I ever tell you about the time my BIL nearly killed MotherDear? BIL was traveling on business and was only a few hours from the Deep South so he decided to surprise us for a short visit. He rented a car and drove to the Yellow House, armed with wine and beer. Oh yes, he is and will always be my favoroite BIL!

Dad was taking his afternoon nap. The doorbell rang. MotherDear looked through the peephole, but it was covered. So she meekly asked..

Who’s there?

Candy Gram.

Excuse me, but Who is there, please?

Candy Gram.

MotherDear quickly turned the dead bolt on the door and ran down the hall like a Thundering Herd of Elephants, terror mounting all the way. (Yes, she is still quite spry!)

She shook Dad awake saying “Someone’s at the door and he won’t tell me who he is. He just keeps saying ‘Candy Gram’ and he’s covered up the peephole”.

Dad got up, walked down the hall and looked through the peephole. Because BIL had tipped his head down, all Dad could see was BIL’s hat. Dad opened the door. 

BIL was now in stitches, and no doubt, feeling quite pleased with himself.

Even after several seconds of staring at BIL, Dad & MotherDear were in total shock and couldn’t register who this Land Shark was.

Needless to say, we won’t be doing that anymore. I explained to BIL that while Land Shark is quite amusing, Dad is now 79 years old and MotherDear is 73, and somehow they didn’t appreciate the humor in it quite as much as he did. It may be a good idea to call ahead next time.

And bring more wine!

Tags: Aging Gracefully, Family, Just for laughs

This week’s Photo Hunt Theme is Party.

So the first thing I thought of was… Cake!

This Royal Straight Flush was the cake from the Rehearsal Dinner for Mike & Danielle, my very awesome nephew Mike and my lovely new niece, Danielle.

Danielle had this cake made just for Mike because Mike loves Texas Hold ‘em (and who wouldn’t?). Mike’s “All In”.

They got married last July. Danielle felt just a little bit bad for Mike because the rest of the Wedding was “all about Danielle”. Naturally, and why shouldn’t it be?
 

They just bought and moved into their very first home a few weeks ago.

Congratulations you guys! You are the coolest… except for you Bri.

If you missed yesterday’s post, I encourage you to have a look. There’s an 11 minute video that may change how you live your life.

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Tags: Family, Party, Photo Hunt, Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt