Nov 17 2007
Ode to SisterDear
Sisterdear3 is truly a most amazing woman. She is a wonderful sister, daughter, friend, wife and mother. Sisterdear3 has 4 children; a 19 year old daughter who has Bipolar Disorder, a 16 year old son with raging hormones and 8 year old twin boys. Did I mention that the twins are Austic, one more so than the other? Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified, or PDD-NOS, for short. Sisterdear3’s husband is a cop. Her BFF and her pediatrician each have sons who are Autistic. In fact, Sisterdear3 and her pediatrician have long been on a first name basis, they meet for coffee as often as Sisterdear3’s schedule will allow.
This has been a very stressful week for Sisterdear3. We speak almost daily and this past week our conversations have been mostly about the rantings and disruptive actions of her daughter. After repeating her senior year of high school because she refused to go to school a month at a time, she is now in her first semester of college. I truly wish I could say that it has been going well. She took 5 courses. She immediately dropped one because she insisted that she’d already taken the same course in high school; “too bad if the college doesn’t accept the transcripts/grade”, or words to that effect. She flunked her Mid-terms on 2 of the other classes and it is my understanding that she is not doing well in the remaining classes. Now, the weekend before Thanksgiving Break, she has decided to skip this week’s classes and has come home to wreak havoc on her parents and siblings. Yes, we actually believe that is her plan.
Honestly, I don’t know how Sisterdear3 manages to get through a single day. Her daughter is adamantly opposed to taking her meds. Sisterdear2 (who is about to graduate with a BA in nursing, an RN, yeah!) tells us that is it very common for a Bipolar patient to refuse meds and/or deny that they need them. My brother-in-law has lost all patience with his daughter, and I can’t say that I blame him. She’s exhausting everyone around her.
We love her deeply, of course. When she’s not cycling she is a very intelligent, delightful girl to spend time with. However, when she is cycling, especially a manic cycle, it’s all about her. Me, me, me. Speed-talking, inflated self-esteem, poor-judgement, paranoia… She exhibits every symptom. There’s is no room for anyone else’s needs. To borrow a phrase from The Ya-Ya Sisterhood, she sucks all the air out of the room. She was briefly seeing a counselor at the college, very briefly. I wish we could find a way to convince her to go back to her doctor and get back on meds. We really miss that girl.
The very best job I could ever imagine is one that would pay me to think… and the currency would be wine!
