WillThink4Wine

Many of you have heard me say many times how much I love, respect and admire my three amazing sisters, and one dear, sweet brother.

I have never mentioned my youngest brother, the baby of the family. He was only two years old when I got married and not quite fours years old when I moved 1,500 miles from home. I couldn’t afford the price of a plane ticket back then and he literally grew up without me ever getting to know him. He’s still a toddler in my brain and heart. During the 35 years since then, he had fallen victim to a series of incredibly unfortunate events in his life. He never had a chance to lead any sort of normal life. When he was about 19 years old he was riding his bike home from work. He was struck by a drunk driver who had no licence or insurance. My brother sustained serious brain injuries and permanent nerve and brain damage. He will always, in some capacity, be a ward of the state.

Which brings me to the remaining two brothers. They both are Toxic Human Waste. Absolute Poison. Long ago I completely removed them from my life. I haven’t seen or spoken to them in years and don’t plan to ever again. They suck the life out of a person. They are users and abusers. Once you have nothing left that they can use, off they go to their next victim. It’s amazing how sneaky and resourceful they can be sometimes. One would think that it would actually be less effort for them to use that energy to make their own way! ::sigh::

It’s difficult to fathom that these two, out of all eight of us kids, were raised by the same parents, in the same home and with the same values. My poor parents had the hardest time recognizing their toxicity and were the last to give up on them, first my Dad letting go, and then finally, MotherDear. However, I’m sure it must always be more difficult for parents.

I certainly know first hand that it is not always easy to turn your back and walk away from a toxic relationship, whether family or friend. It took me 21 years to find the courage to leave a toxic marriage! It took me even longer to walk away from my so-called best friend after 30 years. I was her best friend. Alas, she was not mine. I do know that once you recognize the relationship as toxic, you should walk away from it. It should be done as quickly as possible. I can tell you that I know it is much better on the other side.

Unfortunately, I have never met anybody who has never had at least one toxic relationship in their lifetime. That certainly doesn’t mean you have to keep them in your life. You can walk away, if you respect and value yourself.

After my own life experiences, it’s now easier for me to recognize these users and not ever allow them in. There were people who thought me cold-hearted when I first started culling these users from my life, but I learned to trust my own opinions more.

I encourage each and every person to regard yourself above all others when first developing a relationship. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!

Your brain will tell you first, and then your heart will agree if a person is someone you should trust before you invite them in. If your brain and your heart are not in agreement, it deserves a closer look.

Tags: Toxic Relationships

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